Codependent Lament

keep everything clean

keep everything fun

keep everyone clean

keep everyone fed

keep everyone dressed

keep the diaper bag packed

keep everyone happy

keep everything washed

keep everything organized

keep everyone entertained

keep yourself pretty

keep everything together

keep waking up

keep being happy

keep ready to play

keep being nice

keep doing it all

keep it up

keep it up

keep being sexy

keep being motherly

don’t forget to drink water

don’t forget your appointment

don’t forget their appointments

don’t forget his appointments

don’t forget to move the laundry to the dryer

I forgot to clean the toys

don’t forget to pump more milk for the hour you dare to slip away

don’t forget to buy more shampoo and toothpaste

I forgot to clean the bathroom

don’t forget to brush your teeth and wash your hair

don’t forget to do taxes

don’t forget to buy bigger diapers and bigger clothes

before it’s too late

it’s too late to shower last week

it’s too late to take time for myself

unless I trade it for sleep

but I need sleep to

keep it up

but I need to feed the baby all night

I need to cry

but nobody else can handle it when I cry

because it’s my job to handle the tears

it’s my job to do everything that nobody

else thinks to do

my job to do all the neglected things

my job to be a role model of grace, strength, and virtue for these future women

It’s my job to handle my own feelings

but right now I don’t know how.

right now I’m angry

right now I’m falling apart

right now I’m putting on my oxygen mask

and trying to breathe.