Therapeutic Applications for Tiny Robot Love Doctors
2022 has been a wild ride, to say the least. My mental health has been a constant struggle thanks to post-partum depression, baby-induced sleep deprivation, an early miscarriage, and the tumult that comes with attempting a drastic career change. I often wonder if we made a massive mistake in trying to launch a business in an over-saturated market that neither of us has any experience in. If it weren’t for the generosity and kindness of our friends and family, our wild dreams would be absolutely unfeasible and we would have been forced to give up months ago. But despite the uphill climb we’re facing, and the multiple downhill falls we’ve experienced, I still have a shining nugget of hope for the future of our little board game business.
I like to believe that I’m the kind of person who thrives under pressure. However, 2022 has taken my ego down several hundred notches, and I’m learning the hard way that I might just be the greatest barrier to my own success. My response to challenges has been (inexplicably) to try and take on even more challenges and then act like I am feeling totally fine despite feeling crushed by the weight of my self-imposed expectations. Thankfully, I’m learning that I am also the key to my own potential success. It is my responsibility to take ownership of my circumstances. Nobody else is to blame if I become a useless blob, crippled by anxiety. But that doesn’t mean I have to do it all on my own.
And so, I am striving in this new year to find balance. My goal is to focus my energy and attention and to seek help when I need it.
I am not playing this game of life alone.
I fully expect 2023 to be challenging. But this upcoming year, instead of letting life overwhelm me and allowing myself to fall prey to my emotional monsters, I am going to consciously choose to combat my demons with love. The last few years have taught me that I cannot always choose my circumstances, but I can always choose my perspective. I don’t currently need to worry about food, shelter, or clothing, and in that regard, I am exceedingly privileged – but some days I feel like I live in a golden cage. But with a shift in perspective, I can see that the door of the cage is wide open, and that it is up to me to take the leap and start flapping my wings. I can choose to wallow in guilt for having blessings I feel are undeserved or unearned, or I can use my privileges to attempt to make the world better and the people around me happier.
In the spring, we are going to attempt a relaunch of Tiny Robot Love Doctors.
However, we are going to take it in a slightly different direction. I passionately believe that this game can change the way we communicate about our feelings and connect with those we play with. This game is a powerful tool (in addition to being a genuinely fun, challenging puzzle). Play unlocks the subconscious, and not just for children. I would love to see this game used in hospitals, rehab centers, parenting classes, and anywhere else it could help. We don’t yet know how to make that dream a reality, but we’ll keep trying until we figure it out!
Even now, as I write this, I am plagued by a fear monster. I fear nobody understands me or my intentions. I fear that I am not strong enough, organized enough, or smart enough to achieve my goals and provide for my family. I fear I am not a good enough mom and wife. I fear I am not a good enough friend. And just like in a game of Tiny Robot Love Doctors, my heart gets tangled up by fear and I can’t always see a clear way out.
And so, I’m asking my loved ones for help. I am skilled at combatting rage and greed, but I struggle with fear and gloom. Perhaps living in relative isolation has trained me to mistakenly think that I am playing a solo game when in reality I have incredible humans around me every day. Everywhere I’ve lived or traveled, I have met good humans who I believe want the best for me. The media would have me believe that everyone is potentially out to get me or that potential political enemies surround me—but believing that would require negating the humanity in those I meet, which is something I refuse to do. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. We all have blind spots. We all struggle. I am far from perfect and my perspective is limited by my experiences. I cannot walk a mile in your shoes, no matter how much I would like to.
Us humans are strange and confusing. I sometimes suffer from the delusion that others know everything I know or understand situations the same way I do. I try my best to explain my perspective, and perhaps that’s why I write so much... but is it possible to truly understand another’s perspective? As I have been growing in my relationship with my husband, which is the most intimate friendship I have ever experienced, I am learning that the best I can do is be compassionate, humble, and receptive. Words are a poor substitute for the expression of deep emotions, and yet I try.
I love y’all and hope you feel it.
If you’re interested in staying up to date with our Tiny Robot Love Doctors journey, please sign up for our mailing list or follow us on TikTok. Another new year’s goal is to get back into regularly posting progress updates.